naked light bulb

Otis at work

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Of This
And That...

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01/07/15--Voices In My Head Unhinged! Earth's Rotation Slowing!?

11/05/14--Wait— What!? The Elections Happened Already!?

09/29/14--Voices In My Head Spooked! Trouble Not Brewing In the Republic!?

08/29/14--Killer Cop Goes Free! Republic Braces For Riots!

10/24/13--Heeled Republicans Insist They Get Democracy Now

10/05/13--Republicans To Fight Emancipation Proclamation Next

07/15/13--Pope Francis Changes Rules For Heaven and Hell: Muslim Paradise Gets Bump

01/05/13--Boulder Cop (Taxidermist) Shoots (Bags) Crazed Killer (Old and Feeble) Elk (Trophy)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 




         HOLDING QUEUE       


• Here Be Dragons: Bark At Ye Own Peril! (story)

• Here Be Dragons... (art)

• Here Be Dragons: Cops! (cartoon strip)

• Gardening After Midnight: 30-Round Mags (cartoon)

 

• • •


HERE BE DRAGONS
_________________

Bark At Ye Own Peril!

 

June 2015

Colorado--Yet another lawsuit1 was filed in March against the Magical Kingdom’s recreational pot law—this time by Colorado sheriffs and prosecutors (one of whom is from a county that voted to legalize recreational marijuana), as well as several county officials in Kansas and Nebraska. This complaint follows two suits filed on behalf of several private citizens by a community group, and of course the federal suit filed by the state attorneys general of Nebraska and Oklahoma.

This latest petition is made by local officials who bemoan the increased law enforcement costs Colorado’s recreational pot law has placed on their counties. Newly seated Colorado Attorney General Cynthia Coffman will defend the suit, which lists Colorado Governor John Hickenlooper as defendant.

While this latest suit goes furthest in its attack on the pot law, claiming the state cannot legalize marijuana contrary to federal regulations, it’s the federal suit filed with the U.S. Supreme Court by Oklahoma Attorney General Scott Pruitt, along with his Nebraska counterpart (replaced now by a newly elected attorney general who has since distanced himself from the ill-advised suit2), that is most troubling.

A thoughtlessly conceived attack on a principle he claims to champion, it clearly reveals a reckless personality lacking in depth and perspective. His disregard for the people’s business and job he was elected to do while embracing the politics of legal activism by filing statement lawsuits and enjoining other whacko suits across the country with little or nothing to do with Oklahomans’ every day lives, is a prime example of a new breed of local hack politician empowered and, indeed, sponsored by special interests. Propped up by massive contributions from the likes of the Koch brothers or tea party whackos or this movement or that or big business interests of every color and stripe, it represents a new level of dysfunction in an already sick and twisted system of governance.

Blowing up and shutting down the process now has become not only the favored tactic, but the only tactic. Throwing reckless lawsuits up against the wall is a sure fire way to get headlines on the cheap. Indeed, the more outrageous the more coverage it gets. And grandstanding for headlines is making heroes out of party hacks and heels.

Pruitt, a self-proclaimed sovereign state supporter who was the first state attorney general to file suit against Obamacare for its sins of “government overreach,” no doubt emboldened by the whacko notoriety received there from, has since filed buttheaded suits all across the country over a staggering spectrum of issues that, by implication, are making Oklahomans’ lives a hell on earth. Working quietly behind it all is a well-oiled campaign fund-raising apparatus that allows him to keep raising unlimited amounts of money while running against nobody last election, and term-limited in this current term—as long as he uses it for name recognition and reputation building.

Wait—what!?


Butthead and Betty Turn
Stupidity Crusade on Magical Kingdom!
?


This past December, in a profoundly misguided act of political desperation that smacks of species-threatening stupidity, Pruitt and his boss Oklahoma Governor Mary Fallin—the same depraved duo who showed the world how to slow torture a man to death with secret drugs while cutting a self-righteous indignant pose standing in a still-warm pool of his blood, set their stupidity crusade upon the Magical Kingdom and filed federal suit3 against the Good People of Colorado over the state’s 2012 recreational pot law4. (While Pruitt actually filed the suit, there can be little doubt he did so with the blessings of his boss.) The politically plummeting desperate dimwits claimed the pot law and illegal fallout there from was really, really stressful on them, both emotionally and financially.

The latest in a series of mind-numbingly ill-conceived legal missteps for the buttheaded duo, at the very least it’s anecdotal evidence that record heat and frack-quakes5 have slow-cooked and shaken the already bat-sh!t-crazy demagogues into a fever-pitched headline-hunting froth over anything that will bring out a camera crew so they can spread their deluded and diseased message like pinheaded pied pipers in a dystopian death march into madness. Many will remember the lawsuit Pruitt filed to stop the insanity of affordable healthcare access for the Good People of the great state of Oklahoma—the first such challenge to Obamacare, in fact, after it was passed by congress6; and most will remember the defiant bloody mess in the death chamber at the state prison in McAlester.

For those who’ve purposely blotted the whole wretched episode from their minds in order to carry on, Attorney General Scott Pruitt is the same brutish bully who, with his cabal of jackbooted GOP whackos (including the governor and speaker of the house) threatened to impeach members of the Oklahoma Supreme Court in April of last year, crushing the last defenders of reason in the state, as it were, into political and social oblivion if the court didn’t withdraw its stay of the scheduled execution of Clayton Lockett while the previously untried drugs and process to be used could be reviewed to insure their efficacy.7

Thusly coerced, the Oklahoma Supreme Court relented for survival’s sake and the way was cleared for the Oklahoma governor and attorney general to carry out what in fact turned out to be a bloody ritual killing to satisfy what they perceived as the bloodlust of their constituency. Nobody, however, could have foreseen the depravity of spirit and dearth of reason the dastardly duo summoned in their reckless bloodletting in the death chamber at the state penitentiary—nor, almost as important, the self-righteous defiant defense of the whole bloody “cluster-f#%k,” as one paramedic on the scene described it.8 As details surrounding the debacle became public, it was clear the whole sordid episode was more shockingly unhinged statement than legally prescribed and applied punishment subject to the laws of God and man.

Stung by the entirely predictable backlash from even his own supporters and constituents, the desperate dipstick is trying to change the channel back to the show where he was hero of the haters. No better galvanizing cause exists right now in the Sooner state (aside from Muslim- and gay-hating in some circles, and apparently African-American-hating on some buses) to whip confused religious folks back into his devil-hating corner than an attack on a tried and true red state menace like the devil’s weed. But apparently the dizzy dimwit gave little if any thought to the practicalities of what he was doing, nor the very real consequences of myopia.

The idea that a bat-shit-crazy attorney general from another state (and his co-conspirator in constitutional terrorism, a doltish and easily led governor) can on a whacko whim—or apparently even a fundraising lark, as long as it’s to build (or in this case save) name recognition and political reputation, according to Okie state campaign finance laws—tell the Good People of the great state of Colorado what kind of laws we can and can’t pass is a thought too horrible—a reckless and stupid act of war against truth, justice and the Magical Kingdom way!

 

O dreary day of unholy Oedipal proportions…


If ever the sovereign state movement had a sweetheart it is (or was) Oklahoma Attorney General Scott Pruitt, who was the first state attorney general to file federal suit against Obamacare which, for all intents and purposes, gave a cause to a movement (albeit a bowel movement). Indeed, after both tea party and one percent accolades rained down on the prettiest debutante at the whacko ball, Pruitt no doubt imagined he had a mandate from whackadoodle heaven to go hog wild and bark at every passing car like it was the sick and twisted result of government overreach.9

Chastened by the entirely predictable backlash around the world over the secretive bloody debacle at the state pen, the attorney general must have thought the best course of action to get back in the good graces of Oklahomans (and potential voters in the 2016 gubernatorial or congressional races) was to attack something ostensibly sinful and galvanizing so the church-going voting citizens who get up in arms about stuff could get up in arms about stuff and forget the attorney general’s disgrace at the state pen.

Apparently, however, Mr. Pruitt forgot to look both ways when he decided to cross the street and take his stupidity crusade on the road and rage against the Magical Kingdom.

Enter Oklahoma state representative Mike Ritze, a surgeon in real life from Broken Arrow, OK (a Tulsa suburb), and chairman of the House Public Health committee. He strongly disagreed with his Okie colleague. The good doctor delivered a blistering letter co-signed by six other Oklahoma GOP lawmakers, insisting Pruitt drop his reckless and ill-conceived law suit against the Magical Kingdom.10 Ricardo (the pot guy) Baca reports in The Denver Post’s The Cannabist, that Ritze said many of his constituents want him and his colleagues—all tea party whackadoodles and strong supporters of the sovereign state movement—to file an amicus brief on behalf of Colorado if the case is heard.11

Ritze and his group seem not only blind-sided by Pruitt’s stupid suit, but confused, as well, by the attack on the sovereignty of another state. He and his fellow whackadoodles don’t have any great love for pot (they famously don’t smoke it in Muskogee12), potheads, or even the Magical Kingdom—though many of the founding fathers he and his whackadoodle brethren like to quote (and to be fair, misquote) cultivated the Magical Kingdom’s fourth largest cash crop with great success.13 For them, Ritze says, it’s about the sanctity of the sovereign state principle.

Hell, nobody appreciates sacred sovereignty like the Magical Kingdom! Even our more progressive brothers and sisters are enchanted. It’s a damned enchanting idea. In fact, one might even reasonably assume—using the sort of associative-enchantment-style logic and reasoning popular amongst our more libertarian brothers and sisters—especially when the unique time and space issues involved in the responsible consumption of our most beloved cash crop begin to kick in…that the new soul of sovereign sanctity has…obviouslytranscend-ocated from Monticello to right here right now in the Magical Kingdom! And the butthead general of Oklahoma, flailing at anything he thinks will stop his slide in voter approval, has turned his stupidity crusade upon the very throne where sits the sacred spirit of our founding fathers!

O dreary day of unholy Oedipal proportions! Abandoned in the wilderness of whack, blinded by sudden fame then confused by his sudden fall, the flailing fool hath now launched his arrows recklessly into the Magical Kingdom at an imaginary monster to distract his confused subjects from his disgrace! But alas, the desperate dolt hath pierced his own founding father in the heart with his accursed arrow! Destined now to plead a case to our blind and backlogged mother that, in the calm cruel clarity of dawn’s early light, is feckless and frighteningly afoul from a fractured and festering fissure in the feeble minds of monstrously misguided money-mongering miscreants! O what a dreary day of unholy Oedipal proportions indeed!

National whackadoodle champions of the sovereign state movement and even the presumed frontrunner for the 2016 GOP presidential nomination Jeb Bush have already called on the dimwitted butthead to snap out of it.14 His spurious suit threatens to f#%k their whole world up. In the sternly worded letter from leaders in the Oklahoma statehouse, they call upon Pruitt to “quietly drop the action against Colorado, and if necessary, defend the state’s right to set its own policies, as we would hope other states would defend our right to govern ourselves within constitutional confines.” (They also thoughtfully point out the limited resources the state of Oklahoma has for him to wage a stupidity crusade against the Magical Kingdom.)15

It doesn’t appear, however, the crackpot crusader has heard the clarion call yet. (Likely a near debilitating case of selective hearing.) In a remarkable show of weasel backbone and expedient belief in a fashionable cause, the Oklahoma attorney general has said if anyone in the sovereign state movement thinks it’s a bad idea, he’ll capitulate in a heartbeat!16 Clearly the Oklahoma attorney general is a principled, tireless champion of the people’s interests, not a tone-deaf vainglorious fink.


Wait—what!? There’s no studies and stuff!?


Pruitt goes on to tell a sad tale of pain and woe and taxpayer fortunes spent trying to keep up with what the Magical Kingdom’s new ways hath wrought in a Sooner state with which he seems increasingly out of touch. The lawsuit, filed with the then-Nebraska attorney general (as mentioned earlier, his successor has since distanced himself from his predecessor’s business, leaving only Pruitt on the line, as it were), charges Colorado officials with “scheming” to cultivate, package and distribute marijuana. He says vaguely the pot law has burdened Oklahoma state coffers and so on and so forth—no doubt according to the studies and stuff he conducted.17

The Okie attorney general imagines this seismic shift in the Sooner state’s fortunes has all happened within the last year (when recreational marijuana became legal in Colorado), and by implication that it’s recreational rather than medical pot that’s destroying the fabric of his society so hard he had to file a federal lawsuit that runs contrary to everything he says he believes in regarding the sanctity of the sovereign state.

Certainly the U.S. Supreme Court will be interested in the hardships Pruitt says recreational marijuana from the Magical Kingdom has placed on the cops under his command—facts and figures, that kind of thing. Certainly the logical statistic for the claim he makes would be the difference in average law enforcement costs over the 15 years since Colorado’s amendment 20 was passed and use of medical marijuana was legalized at the constitutional level, versus the last one (1) year of legal recreational pot. Lots of folks would be interested in that data!

Wait—what!? There’s no studies and stuff!?

The Cannabist reports Oklahoma House GOP member Ritze wonders if they really have a problem in the first place. He says his group polled the state narcotics bureau and the highway patrol and other folks in their war on drugs, and the Oklahoma attorney general hadn’t contacted any of them for input. “We’re searching for a non-problem. I’m looking at data, and it’s not there,” the GOP leader says.18

Surely the Okie attorney general wouldn’t make such a dramatic claim without proof!? Dealing with the U.S. Supreme Court is a little different than dealing with the Oklahoma Supreme Court. One would think no proof or support of a wild claim on a suit he filed or action he brought would be frowned upon so hard by Chief Justice Roberts, et al, that whatever other whacko cause Pruitt has hitched his wagon to would be best-served if he were no where around or, for that matter, even involved.

The claim that the Magical Kingdom’s recreational pot law is costing Oklahoma money in increased law enforcement costs certainly strengthens the stupid factor in Pruitt’s stupidity crusade. In actual fact, this observer/reporter not only has first-hand knowledge to the contrary (“If you don’t quit that stuff, it’s gonna get expensive!” the deputy sheriff said with a crooked grin as he stuck out a summons, and I could see in his evil snake eye they got a program in place now to help pay for both their raises and the sort of multi-agency Oklahoma law enforcement cluster-f#%k in which they entrapped yours truly not so long ago), but well-placed reliable sources as well, that say the Oklahoma attorney general’s claims of financial hardship are a load of made-up weasel sh!t!

Both first-hand and common sense says the influx of marijuana—and let’s be honest, Pruitt hasn’t got a f#%king clue whether it’s medical marijuana or recreational marijuana—has been a windfall in terms of revenue generated from violations, like picking low-hanging fruit, a cash cow that multiple law enforcement agencies and jurisdictions in the Sooner state have come to suck upon the teats of as a reliable revenue source with damn near infinite growth potential. Clearly the attorney general should check his headline-grabbing diversionary tactics with his fellow weasels in Oklahoma law enforcement before blowing up their raises next year. (If ever there was proof the Oklahoma attorney general was neglecting the interests of both compadre and constituent while flailing at name recognition and developing his brand!)

More-f#%king-over, if addressing the issue of increased pot usage in Oklahoma were actually the goal (not diverting attention from the systemic failure and worldwide disgrace the attorney general proudly presided over), mightn’t it be more realistic (not to mention relevant to his job description) to rework the laws and/or penalties in Oklahoma!? Who knows, perhaps a public service commercial threatening young Okies with a bloody death chamber debacle will scare them straight!?

Clearly the Okie attorney general is delusional from being shaken like a rag doll by the aforementioned frack-quake apocalypse. First off, if an out-of-stater has the stones to break the law and take recreational pot across state lines, said out-of-stater will no doubt have the stones to do the same with medical marijuana.

The truth is, in exchange for an eighth of an ounce of a good sativa blend (about $20), an out-of-stater would have his pick of licensed Coloradoans who no doubt would be happy to secure said out-of-stater with a couple of ounces right then and there (as opposed to the quarter of an ounce the out-of-stater could get on his own). Indeed, it’s difficult to imagine an out-of-stater having any trouble at all finding a licensed native to hit the Green Mile with them and do their shopping all day long (for a little of this and little of that).

Pruitt postulates his phony drug war nightmare is the result of his citizens breaking recreational marijuana laws rather than medical marijuana laws, even when breaking medical marijuana laws would yield up to seven times more per store. If an out-of-stater were about breaking the law and getting Colorado’s homegrown to go, why would said out-of-stater f#%k with recreational restrictions!?

Whatever problems with pot states surrounding the Magical Kingdom may have—legitimately or not—began a decade ago or more, and no doubt continue much the same as they always have. Colorado’s recreational pot law has done nothing to change the dynamics. It did, however, provide an easy opening for some not very bright butthead weasels to stick their skeevy little noses where they don’t belong.


The Weasels Have Overrun Oklahoma!


What’s happened in Oklahoma has gone way beyond cautionary tale—this is a full-f#%king-blown horror story in progress of how whackos and one-percenters get hold of the psyches of soulless weasel politicians and draft them into their deluded army of American self-destruction. (And what’s happened in Oklahoma is happening all over, with slight variations due to local weasel wackiness.19) In weasel boot camp, half-wits learn how to tell voters what they want to hear to get elected and, in the next lesson, throw them under the bus afterward without guilt or shame, and blame the vast reach of whatever their current pet evil specter is for any blowback! These whacko pawns have no political value other than self-immolation for the one percent’s cause! The poor saps realize too late their job as per the deal they made with the devil for his campaign contributions is to blow themselves and the processes of governance up while their weasel overlords clean up in the social instability and desperate deal-making that follows!

Pruitt and his queen of GOP darkness in the state of Oklahoma Governor Fallin are part of a sick breed of politician who feed their constituents a poisoned reality that supports a larger outsider agenda no matter what—reality on the ground and in their wake be damned. Oklahomans have been back-slapped and glad-handed and hoodwinked into a perpetual state of ill-informed misplaced anger by their local leaders who’ve pledged their souls to Grover Norquist and his whackadoodle weasels or the Koch Bros. and their one percent super pac weasels of every imaginable flavor and stripe! The soulless bastards have indulged the ugliest angels of an angry white constituency that blames their lot in life on everything but their own choices. Too angry and frustrated to get the facts themselves, they embrace every angry, bitter excuse and explanation for the way things are that bolsters their wounded pride and sagging self-respect and even cultural relevance. The genius of weasels is in making arbitrarily angry white people feel part of a larger movement so they feel properly bolstered and self-righteous. Thusly propped up, they swallow the bitter, divisive cool aid of both whacko and one-percenter like sinners at a traveling hell-fire and brimstone tent revival in July.

The Good People of Oklahoma have mostly unwittingly (or maybe resignedly, who really knows) elected soulless political weasels who, while goose-stepping to half-baked philosophies and outsider agendas, have fumbled their duties and responsibilities to Oklahomans. While they were busy chasing whacko votes and campaign contributions from the one percent, the number of Oklahomans with no health insurance—including children—has grown to sixth in the country.20 And with their noses too far up the energy industry’s frackholes retrieving campaign funds to set responsible energy policy for the Good People of Oklahoma now and into the future, the governor and attorney general let the oil and gas companies write their own terms and rules, and set their own profit levels!21 (Wonder how Pruitt’s rubber stamp of the oil and gas industry’s demands looks now as the state faces an over $600 million dollar budget shortfall in tax revenue? Not to mention the horrific blight of abandoned fracking operations scattered like a pox across holy mother earth’s once pristine countryside.) And of course,while they were dancing like deluded dolts at a dog show for financial treats, who could forget the aforementioned bloody ritual torture in the death chamber at the Oklahoma state penitentiary.

Now Butthead and Betty want to change the conversation from their own ugliness and staggering ineptitude by grabbing a sensational headline attacking the Magical Kingdom and its fourth largest cash crop (just behind wheat, in fact; Colorado ranks 16th in the nation in agricultural receipts—before our magic crop is added in—which is two spots higher than Oklahoma with all its crops added in22). This whole sick and twisted weasel charade is nothing but the desperate act of deluded dolts flailing to restore their whacko brand and fast-fading mojo with the Bible belt-wielding reactionary right!

 

Gardening After Midnight…


The Okie attorney general has no idea what he stands for! He’s reacting to political movement! To smells! He’s a goddamn political armadevil! He can’t see for sh!t unless what he’s looking at is right in front of him! And then only if it moves or is upwind and he catches a vague whiff of something different! He’s an ancient scourge emerging! He’ll uproot and destroy a garden faster than a spooked drunken plough team! They have no natural predators—except the wheels-of-f#%king-progress on the goddamn highway of civilization!!

There’s a sick and twisted cabal of dimwitted political hacks who’ve holed themselves up in the state capitol in Oklahoma City and are wrecking the Sooner state with mismanagement and neglect while they use the office to which the Good People of Oklahoma elected them to groom their political brand and launch their self-defeating stupidity crusade. These crazy butthead weasels in heat not only have no conscience, but very limited mental capacity, as well—which is why they can only see as far ahead as the next election cycle and are easily enticed with feathers for their political beds!

Pruitt, a native of Kentucky (no doubt on the run from a Calhoun rope when he fled to Oklahoma!), parlayed a neither distinguished nor focused four- or five-year career in any kind of billable corporate law, into a neither distinguished nor focused four- or five-year career in state house politics, that included losing first a congressional primary bid and then a primary bid to become lieutenant governor, until finally stumbling like the pathetic last player picked in a playground kickball game into the attorney general’s office. Now he’s wasting Okie taxpayer dollars on his own stupidity crusade. Or is he?

The Oklahoma attorney general has amassed a small fortune in campaign contributions despite running unopposed last time, and now term-limited going forward. Since learning last April he would have no opponent, the attorney general has amassed $300,000 in campaign contributions (and counting) and spent nearly $160,000—ostensibly to help him run for reelection against nobody. If the attorney general ran unopposed last time and is now term-limited, two questions come immediately to mind: 1) why is he still raising campaign contributions; and 2) what is he doing with all the money he’s raised if he has no opponent!?23

As it turns out, campaign contributions in Oklahoma can be used to “build name recognition and reputation”—even if the skeevey little bastards aren’t running for an office! Also turns out for the election he won last November against nobody, he spent $86,000 on campaign consultants—who no doubt told him to mine the fertile fields of campaign contributions in Texas!? And sure enough, his campaign fund raising extended all the way to Dallas last year and a hootenanny for a butt-load of AT&T execs (47, including the chairman/CEO and general counsel) who ponied up over $30,000, because it’s important to build name recognition and reputation with Texas businessmen because…because it just is—and anyway the rules allow it.24 (And it doesn’t threaten the sovereignty of the state of Oklahoma at all or have the appearance of impropriety or anything by giving Texas businessmen access to or influence with top-level Oklahoma officials. Pruitt also paid himself $17,000 in expenses for meals, travel, telephone and office expenses, relative to his campaign to defeat nobody.)25

In fact, Pruitt’s ongoing campaign fund raising and spending apparatus is, for all intents and purposes, a well-oiled self-perpetuating self-enrichment scheme for him and his GOP cabal of butthead weasel friends. Many of the payments from his campaign fund were to firms tied to his staff—not to mention the $125,000 contribution from Devon Energy he secured for the Republican Attorneys General’s club or some such lame-ass organization Pruitt himself heads. Pruitt’s campaign also paid a consultant for the same GOP Attorneys General club, $89,832.24—again, to help him beat nobody.26

It’s a lot to keep up with—donor rules and regulations, the ins and outs of limits and reporting, how and when the booty can and can’t be spent. If only there were something that would make it all easy and insure you were abiding by the laws in whatever jurisdiction you wanted to mine. Turns out there is—software to help Republican candidates around the country get the most out of their campaign dollars and tip-toe around local campaign finance laws—and Pruitt bought a copy for $2,000 to help him beat this formidable foe nobody. Add a former Oklahoma Secretary of State and Senate President Pro Tem cum consultant to the team to show him the secret weasel handshake and tunnels where the secret weasel playbook and fundraising protocols are kept in the good-ol’ GOP-boy weasel network, and the Oklahoma attorney general has himself a first class ongoing weasel campaign fund-raising scheme and apparatus—again, to help him beat nobody.27

Clearly the Oklahoma attorney general has been busy as a bee about the business of fund-raising to finance his out of state activism—to build name recognition and reputation, of course. The only thing more staggering than the list of out of state political piñatas the attorney general has been flailing at with his whacky stick is the breadth of flavors in lawsuits he’s thrown against the wall. From lawsuits over Obamacare to the right to ban gay marriage28; from the right to refuse GI benefits to homosexuals29 to the right to use secret drug cocktails to execute death row inmates30; from suits to undermine Roe v. Wade31 to suits against the Environmental Protection Agency32; and from chicken coop regulations in California33 to the Magical Kingdom’s pot law!34

It’s as if there’s not an issue anywhere in the country the Oklahoma attorney general thinks is not his business (or at least an opportunity to “build name recognition and reputation”). What’s more, if his record in this cavalcade of statement suits and actions and petitions and such weren’t so staggeringly bad (all were either thrown out, courts refused to hear them, or were flat out ruled against), one might be inclined to give the attorney general points for gung-ho-ness. But the what should be humiliating lack of success suggests a dangerous level of thoughtlessness and recklessness, and has the appearance of a half-wit partisan political terrorist with nothing more going for him than the fact he happens to hold statewide political office and therefore has access to the stacked fundraising apparatus of incumbents in a state with wildly inappropriate (and probably illegal) campaign finance laws! Consequently, the attorney general can throw anything against any wall under the guise of name- and reputation-building!

(Fortunately amidst all the legal losing, the Oklahoma attorney general had time to write an amicus brief for the U.S. Supreme Court, in support of his personal friends who own Hobby Lobby, the hobby supply chain based in Oklahoma. Because of their religious beliefs, the fundamentalist owners refused to provide birth control coverage for employees as per the Affordable Healthcare Act—never mind they’re not even Catholic. The Hobby Lobby founder has also established a Museum of the Bible, and is developing a Bible-based curriculum for public schools. The four-year high school-level curriculum proposal has already been adopted by the school board in Mustang, OK, home of Hobby Lobby headquarters.)35

 

* * *

 

The one thing Pruitt did do specifically for Oklahomans was opt out of the 2012 National Mortgage Settlement, and negotiate his own deal with the five major lenders involved—all more than happy to negotiate directly with the Oklahoma attorney general. The result is that he struck a bargain for $18.7 million—over $10 million less than the $28.8 million Okies who were victimized by mortgage lenders would have received had Pruitt not opted out of the national settlement.36

The reason he negotiated his own deal, he claimed, was that the national settlement was yet another example of “government overreach.” This time, he claimed, it was “dictating housing policy.” Presumably he meant the National Mortgage Settlement that all 49 other attorneys general in the U.S.A. signed off on required all the settlement funds be distributed directly to affected homeowners.

In the deal Pruitt negotiated, there are fewer restrictions—if any—on how the money was to be distributed, how much of it would be distributed, and to whom. (And he, of course, gets to decide who gets what and how much.) And in his deal, he’s not bound by “government overreach” to distribute all the money to affected homeowners. He can give some to lawyers—as much as 25 percent of monies distributed so far have gone to lawyers! He can set aside as much as he wants for administrative costs involved in handling the assessment and distribution of the settlement funds. And he can earmark as much as he wants to get the message out to affected homeowners that he has the money due them, and they should get in touch with him to get paid.37

While other states (including the Magical Kingdom) engaged in robust efforts to get the word out to affected homeowners about the availability of funds from the settlement—from hiring extra staff to public relations announcements to advertising to social media campaigns and more—the Oklahoma attorney general has relied largely on press releases and a meeting with attorneys, the Tulsa World reports.38

“There’s less scrutiny over what happens to Oklahoma homeowners,” Diane Thompson of the National Consumer Law Center in Washington, D.C. says. “And there’s one fewer protections for Oklahoma homeowners.”39

The Tulsa World reports as much as one-third ($6.2 million of the nearly $19 million) of what Pruitt got in his settlement deal hasn’t been distributed as of February, 2014. Wonder what the Oklahoma attorney general has decided to do with all the money he couldn’t seem to distribute!?40

Had Pruitt not rejected the National Mortgage Settlement, 15 times the number of Oklahoma homeowners who were helped under Pruitt’s deal would have been helped. (Pruitt hand-picked approximately 670 homeowners to receive between $1,500 and $20,000, with an average settlement of about $11,000; in the national settlement, the number of homeowners that would have received monies was almost 14,000.) Over 13,000 eligible Okies were denied settlements because Pruitt wanted to have control over who gets what and how much they get. (It’s like the GOP theme to everything they do!) And, of course, how to spend the $6.2 million left over.41

Everything Scott Pruitt touches turns sick and twisted and shady as a butthead weasel hidey-hole at midnight. Clearly he’s more tip-toe-around-the-rules politician than abide-by-the-spirit-of-the-law chief law enforcement officer—which helps explain his activism and brand-building outside of and neglect of duties inside Oklahoma.


The Light That Sucks Intelligence…


If you live in Oklahoma, however, and subscribe to or watch any of the local publications or broadcasts, it’s likely you wouldn’t know any of this. Mainstream media in Oklahoma is so far up conservatism’s frack-hole chasing readers, viewers and ad dollars that anything left of criminalizing homosexuality and cutting taxes for the energy industry and the wealthy is anathema and gets short if any shrift. Both the Daily Oklahoman (now NewsOK after a name change to hide from its hideous past) and Tulsa World regularly give their seal of editorial approval to stiflingly conservative agendas (though the World, at times, seems less willing to swallow the party line and, in fact, provided much of the reporting on Pruitt’s campaign finance scheme and his loan mortgage settlement debacle for this commentary). Network television affiliates in both the Tulsa and Oklahoma City markets are mostly bleak shades of reactionary, with Fox news coming in off the charts bat-sh!t-crazy!

Herein lies much of the problem. For almost a hundred years, the Gaylord family, brutally conservative ultra-wealthy religious activists, controlled the media in much of Oklahoma. The Daily Oklahoman, Oklahoma City’s daily newspaper, was the centerpiece of what grew to become a conservative media empire that has included newspapers, television and radio stations. (Full disclosure, this observer was a Daily Oklahoman paperboy circa 1977-1979, and unwittingly advanced their insidious agenda. In defense, the evil bastards bribed a helpless, fully groomed fourteen-year-old capitalist consumer with what in retrospect wasn’t the easy money it seemed then, but was nevertheless easily turned into records and bicycles and skateboards and even a motorcycle.) By the turn of the century, their credibility as a newspaper was virtually nil. Indeed, many Oklahoma City residents subscribed to the Dallas Morning News for their daily news coverage. The Columbia Journalism Review famously called The Oklahoman “The Worst Newspaper in America” in a 1999 article for its sharply conservative agenda, biased bad writing, racism in hiring and high ad prices. It called the publication a “newspaper in reverse, sucking intelligence from its readers.”42

In 2011, America’s worst newspaper was sold to the Magical Kingdom’s very own Philip Anschutz who was building his own media and entertainment empire. Similarly striped in terms of religious fervor and zealotry, the Gaylord and Anschutz families share a vision of heterosexual world domination, theme parks and gated communities for Christians, and movies about clean living with no dirty words.

The Good People of Oklahoma, sadly, may have little if any knowledge about the confused cabal of politically inbred incumbents running their own whacko/one percenter game at the state capitol in Oklahoma City. For as long as this Okie-born Coloradoan can remember, Oklahomans have been fed a diet of news and information about the world they live in stripped of its nutrients and possibility after being run through culturally conservative socio-economic filters and a religious gauntlet of taboos and inhibitions.

Granted, the fourth estate is sick all over; the scramble for viewers, ad dollars and profits has eroded the sanctity of the great watchdog and turned it into a lap dog for the watched. The interests of corporate communications conglomerates are not nearly the same as the interests of the individuals and communities they “serve.” TV stations and radio stations and newspapers rely on viewers and listeners and readers and ad dollars above all else to fulfill their corporate mission. With no other tethers to the community other than profit, maximization of profit becomes the only long term compelling interest of the vast majority of media outlets. And when the community you service wants Christian heterosexual domination and shameless intolerance of multi-culturalism bookended by haikus in homogeneity and trickle down theory, that’s what you give them. Otherwise ad dollars dry up and you cease to exist.

But in Gaylordian Oklahoma, a perfect storm of preacher, politician, peasant and press exists in a suspended and self-sustaining socio-economic religious reality. And efforts to change the dynamics of the storm will be viewed as an assault on America and Christianity, and will be met with swift and stupid acts in the ongoing stupidity crusade the current cabal of butthead weasels are waging on advice of the voices in their heads and the software they bought! (Who could forget the flogging they gave Sharia law before the federal court stepped in and told them enough already! We all get it, you hate Muslims. More than anybody. Happy!?)

Under just such density of darkness, and armed with just such a light that sucks intelligence, Oklahomans have been left to find their way.

 

* * *

 

For all his short-comings—and clearly they are legion, the Oklahoma attorney general’s fatal flaw, it would seem, is that he has a broken blowback calculator when it comes to his buttheaded ideas to make a name for himself—whether it’s how a secretive and profoundly ill-advised rush to execute will play to the whole f#%king world, or how a law suit against another state will play with his own sovereign state supporters—let alone the other state and Good People therein. This is what happens when developing your brand becomes more important than doing the job you were elected to do. This is what happens when butthead weasels slither into the garden and have their way with the people’s business! And if you don’t take swift and decisive pest control measures, you can lose the garden!

(Gardening tip: When taking emergency pest control measures as is sometimes necessary when vermin like the butthead weasel broach the garden gate, it’s important to exterminate the skeevy little bastards in swift and no uncertain terms. For smaller breeds of weasels and polecats, a sharp garden hoe cum guillotine should do the trick. In a pinch, a shovel can be used to bash their heads in, but it’s important to be thorough, lest they recover and warn others in their boogle and help them develop evasive skills and even establish safe houses under porches to hide from even the most conscientious gardeners. For larger breeds like the armadevil, this gardener finds a Winchester thirty-ought-six works well. (Editorial note: Fellow gardeners will want to take care not to confuse animal and human weasel varieties. It’s illegal to shoot the human ones, and this gardener does not support violence of any type against mankind—even upright weasels. See “policy regarding violence and terrorism.”)

 

Game of Thrones…


And so it’s come to this: a feckless political hack whose hubris over his fifteen minutes of fame blossomed like a concussion grenade into a bloody unhinged political statement sees his chance to change the weather by engaging the Good People of Colorado in a game of thrones!

The Magical Kingdom is not amused! Know ye not we will smite thee so-f#%king-hard!? How dare ye drag us into your sick and twisted scheme to deceive the Good People of Oklahoma with your phony embrace of their ideals! Thinkest thou can distract thy own subjects from the botched bloody human sacrifice thou ordered!? Dare ye maketh the Magical Kingdom your bitch!

There’s only one way to deal with such a morally vacant threat: Dragons! Magic ones!

The Okie attorney general has awakened and angered the great Rocky Mountain Progressitarian Dragon! Believed extinct, turns out they were only hibernating, snuggled up in caves in the Magical Kingdom for a little over a century. (This particular breed of magic dragon hibernates for 111 years—about ten percent longer than regular dragons, something to do with fermenting electrolytes necessary for fire-making—and then awakens and thrives for about the same period.)

Awakened a couple of years ago by the sweet smell of Colorado homegrown wafting through the Royal Gorge, Puff (so-named by a little boy in City Park who first spied our now familiar magic dragon) is now a regular wonder in the skies over the Magical Kingdom. Turns out our fourth largest cash crop is, to this particular breed—magicus dragonusan indispensable relaxant when they awaken from their season of hibernation. Apparently the process where by they awaken suddenly warms magic dragon body temperature and they often awaken in an uncontrollable rage that usually involves fire.

It’s important to note, the magicus dragoni, or more commonly shamanic or magic dragons, though they sleep in separate lairs (nightmares can be fatal otherwise), they almost always live in pairs. Generally, the female awakens a couple of years after the male, and may be in an exceedingly foul mood until she relaxes and gathers her bearings, so to speak. Patty (so named by Puff), his partner in paradise, he blushes, is a crazy cranky bitch until she gets her kush. You don’t want to be around her when she’s cranky, he warns. Remember the San Francisco earthquake and fire in 1906!?

(Editor’s note: Upon later reflection, Puff corrected the record: the 1906 San Francisco earthquake and fire was the result of Patty’s hot flashes while running out of energy just before last hibernation season. The last time Patty woke from hibernation, there was a massive fire in New Orleans in the late 18th century.)

Puff says Patty chose a lair in Glenwood Canyon—she likes a nice warm bath before bed. He said he was going to take a couple of ounces of a nice sativa blend and head that way, hang out around the springs until she starts to wake. He thought maybe he’d cannonball the cave where she’s sleeping so she wakes in a nice happy haze instead of an inconsolable fiery rage. (As a gesture, it was both romantic and practical.)

Dragon watchers in the Magical Kingdom are giddy with excitement in anticipation of Patty’s awakening—an event even more rare than Haley’s comet, they point out. Whole generations may be born and die without seeing an age of the magicus dragoni.

Magic dragon experts suspect record high temperatures this winter across the Magical Kingdom is an indicator she might soon rise and shine.

Puff urges caution, however. Unusually warm seasons can be indicative of dragon dreams just before waking; it’s not unusual for them to be heated, as it were. He says the Black Forest fire in Colorado Springs (scorched 15,000 acres, burned down over 500 homes and killed two unlucky residents) a couple years ago was the result of a nightmare he was having just before waking in his own lair down in the Royal Gorge. In his dream, he lost his magic powers and his teeth began to crumble and fall out just as he was jolted out of the dream by a frack-quake—no doubt centered in Oklahoma. He said he flung himself up out of his lair into the skies just southwest of the Springs and, whilst flailing about trying to figure out where he was, inadvertently spewed plumes of fire before he settled and reoriented himself. Unfortunately, the record drought, heat and gale force winds in the area at the time made for an unstable situation, and within seconds the whole area was engulfed in flames that raced toward town.

Clearly eager for magicus dragonus companionship, Puff says he’s hoping to head off a repeat of his fiery dawn when Patty wakes—by all indications, soon—which is why he’s heading that way with some Colorado homegrown to calm his soon-to-be-cranky beloved.

(Public service note: Magic dragon watchers stress the importance of remaining ever-vigilant in measuring the temperature in the hot springs at Glenwood over the next few weeks and months. Bathers may have only minutes to get out before they’re boiled alive when Patty starts to wake.)

 

On the Wisdom of Barking at Dragons…


In January, Attorney General Pruitt must’ve seen at least a glimmer of light. He asked for stays of already scheduled executions pending the outcome of a U.S. Supreme Court case on the constitutionality of the drug cocktail currently used in several states who regularly execute people like Oklahoma does.43 Scary thought. Fortunately Oklahoma has only tortured one other convict to death since Clayton Lockett. Reports from those present at the Charles Warner execution in January say he only writhed in pain for a few minutes before collapsing. Oklahoma officials say he might even have been faking.44

It remains to be seen whether the whack jobs ostensibly running the great state of Oklahoma understand what a profound misstep they’ve taken by filing suit against another state. They’re almost certain to compound the already tragic state of neglect they’ve left the Sooner state in by further draining taxpayer resources as well as the time and attention of officials and representatives who would otherwise be about the peoples’ business. There’s a better than good chance it will be years before the case is heard (if it’s heard at all), thus binding the Sooner state’s next attorney general (and perhaps even the one after that) to the current one’s buttheaded “name and reputation-building” scheme. These grand gestures and political statements from this new breed of activist state leader are anathema to the peoples’ business, and the resulting neglect there from is dooming the Good People of Oklahoma straight to hell-in-a-hand basket (the state faces a $611 million budget shortfall, and counting, that is a direct result of rubber-stamping the energy industry’s business plan instead of negotiating the best deal possible for the Good People of Oklahoma).45

Pruitt’s buttheaded suit has both the appearance and psychological profile of a reckless grandstand by a flailing political hack with blood all over his hands trying to catch the eye of the popular boys one more time before his fifteen minutes are up. The ill will bred with the Good People of Colorado by his stupid stunt will be staggering, and the fallout will be heavy and relentless. It will be bloody and it will be painful. Legions of hipsters and people who know somebody in a band, the band, software designers and coders, doctors and lawyers, captains of industry and information, civic leaders and teachers, housewives and husbands, poets and priests, paupers and politicians, policemen and firemen, stoners and even newspaper editors—but especially the lawyers—will all be forced back into darkness to work and live. They won’t be happy.

It’s not difficult to foresee lawsuits raining down like fire from bowls poured forth by angry angels in a crazy Christian apocalypse. All those frack-quakes that originate in Oklahoma but shake the psyches of subjects in the Magical Kingdom so severely that many in the southeastern quarter of the state will no doubt need neck braces and maybe even therapy for the rest of their lives. And who knows how many water systems have been fouled and foundations rocked by Okie frack-quakes?

More-f#%king-over, the failure of the cabal of Oklahoma GOP leaders to embrace some semblance of affordable healthcare for all has led to a mass immigration of Okies into the Magical Kingdom in search of quality healthcare, placing a sudden and unexpected drain on our wonderful but now overburdened public healthcare system. Using the sort of logic the Oklahoma attorney general has been throwing around of late, the Sooner state’s negligent public health policy is causing Colorado considerable financial pain and woe.

Our own young and beautiful and no doubt genius legal scholar and champion of truth, justice and the Magical Kingdom way, Cynthia Coffman, will certainly want to broach the subject with her ugly, old and withered troll-like butthead weasel counterpart from Oklahoma—maybe even file one of those activist-style lawsuits against Butthead and Betty. While her views on marijuana legalization are sketchy at best, clearly her future in Colorado politics will rise and fall on how well she defends the sanctity of our sovereignty and the laws on our books. Certainly the teeming supporters of Magical Kingdom sovereignty will be acutely interested in how passionately she defends our most excellent laboratory of democracy.

Moreover, ingenious little private legal weasels in Colorado, now potentially facing return to a life of sneaking around and lies (regarding the use of marijuana, anyway), will no doubt figure out the ins and outs of standing on this issue, and proceed with another plague of privately spawned and potentially lucrative law suits against the Okie interlopers.

And if all that’s not enough, who can tell how Patty, our sleeping magicus dragonus princess, will react to the Oklahoma attorney general’s buttheaded grandstanding when she wakes!? Puff says there’s not enough water in Oklahoma to douse the fires that will burn in the Sooner state on that day!

 

* * *

 

In 2014, the Colorado marijuana industry had total revenue of almost $680 million, with over $67 million in taxes collected.46 Within the next two years, total revenue is likely to approach a billion dollars in sales. The only “scheme” Colorado officials have engaged in is destroying a statewide marijuana black market that collected those monies before, and turned it into pennies from heaven for Coloradoans. Of course this pales in comparison to the scheme Oklahoma Attorney General Scott Pruitt is running with his perpetual campaign fund-raising apparatus to finance his political terrorism and legal activism.

Certainly the list of potential suits citizens and the Magical Kingdom itself could file is as never-ending as the financial support there would be for such a legal ass-kicking. From spoiled water systems and cracked foundations to whiplash and heart conditions and a whole host of psychological ailments and traumas—not the least of which is living in abject fear of the earth moving beneath our feet (a lot of old people live in the southeastern part of the Kingdom where most of the quaking happens, and old people like terra firma to be firma).

In the end, the weasel star-chamber in the Okie state capitol will have to come to terms with the practicalities of their stupidity crusade. The buttheaded buffoons have united an incredibly polarized state behind the preservation of the very sanctity of our statehood and our much appreciated and needed new tax revenue stream. In fact, this newfound consensus and cooperation against an imminent threat and butthead foe may herald a joyous new day of comraderie and even collaboration amongst progressive and libertarian in the Magical Kingdom! (It could happen.)

And when the rubber hits the road—particularly where the armadevils of our culture cross, so to speak—does the butthead weasel attorney general of the great state of Oklahoma really know the apparent sudden increase in fruit of the tree of knowledge of good and evil in his state isn’t the result of the record number of frack-quakes in Oklahoma shaking magic fruit trees in the Magical Kingdom…and the fruit there from floating gently down into the Sooner state like answered prayers!?

 

The Verdict…


Perspective is God, and the attorney general of Oklahoma is Godless. Fallout in one jurisdiction from illegal activity in another jurisdiction cannot be license for dictating law in the offending jurisdiction. Such a scenario effectively establishes the condition necessary for one state to govern another. This is a butt-headed lawsuit filed by a butt-headed petitioner. It’s a fair measure of the vapid and vainglorious nature of the petitioner and the circus-like reverence said petitioner has for the processes of our judiciary and, indeed, entire system of governance.

If the skeevey little butthead weasel doesn’t withdraw it first, petition will be denied with prejudice. B!tch.

 

O. Keyes
Colorado, May 2015

 

 

__________________

 

NOTES:

1. <http://extras.mnginteractive.com/live/media/site36/2015/0305/20150305_091147_ colorado-marijuana-lawsuit.pdf> (return to text)
2. <http://www.usnews.com/news/articles/2015/02/23/colorados-new-attorney-general-pot-legalization-not-worth-it> (return to text)
3. “Nebraska and Oklahom Sue Colorado Over Marijuana Law,” by Jack Healy, New York Times, 12/19/14. <http://www.nytimes.com/2014/12/19/us/politics/nebraska-and-oklaho...na-law.html?emc=edit_th_20141219&nl=todaysheadlines&nlid=39529034> (return to text)
4. <http://www.sos.state.co.us/pubs/elections/Initiatives/titleBoard/filings/2011-2012/30Final.pdf> (return to text)
5. Last year Oklahoma spontaneously combusted and wildfires burned out of control across the state, all while 585 earthquakes were recorded—more than in the last 35 years combined—earning the Sooner state the title of most seismically active state in the contiguous 48 states)  <http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/capital-weather-gang/wp/2014/05/05/oklahoma-is-burning-heat-ignites-temperature-records-blazes-in-southern-plains/> & <http://www.tulsaworld.com/newshomepage1/quake-debate-science-que...-go/article_eedb5ada-46eb-5550-8f56-04c5cc9966b4.html?mode=print> (return to text)
6. Pruitt’s lawsuit is still pending; a decision on King v. Burwell is expected later in June or July, which will also decide, among others, Pruitt’s suit. “Lawsuits by Oklahoma Attorney General Scott Pruitt, others challenge Obamacare Subsidies,” Chris Casteel, NewsOK, 12/04/13. <http://newsok.com/lawsuits-by-oklahoma-attorney-general-scott-pruitt-others-challenge-obamacare-subsidies/article/3911239> (return to text)
7. “Some Oklahoma Supreme Court Justices Could Face Impeachment,” by World staff, 04/23/14. <http://www.tulsaworld.com/news/courts/some-oklahoma-supreme-cour...e-impeachment/article_8d55fb98-cb23-11e3-9250-001a4bcf6878.html> (return to text)
8. “Oklahoma Botches Clayton Lockett's Execution,” by Bailey Elise McBride and Sean Murphy; Associate Press, 4/29/14. <http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/04/29/ oklahoma-clayton-lockett-execution_n_5236297.html>; also: <http://www.tulsaworld.com/ newshomepage2/ botched-execution-describ...hows/article_a4b70b76-84f7-5ebd-a5f3 044c205d474a.html?> (return to text)
9. “Lawsuits by Oklahoma Attorney General Scott Pruitt, others challenge Obamacare Subsidies,” Chris Casteel, NewsOK, 12/04/13. <http://newsok.com/lawsuits-by-oklahoma-attorney-general-scott-pruitt-others-challenge-obamacare-subsidies/article/3911239> (return to text)
10. <READ LETTER> (return to text)
11. “Oklahoma Lawmakers to AG Pruitt: Drop the Colorado Lawsuit,” by Ricardo Baca, The Denver Post – The Cannabist, 01/06/15. <http://www.thecannabist.co/2015/01/06/oklahoma-lawsuit-scott-pruitt-mike-ritze/26748/>   (return to text)
12. First line from the song “Okie from Muskogee,” co-written by Merle Haggard and Roy Edward Burris, recorded by Merle Haggard. The song reached #1 on the U.S. Billboard Hot Country Singles in 1969. (return to text)
13.
<http://norml.org/legal/item/colorado-top-10-cash-crops> (return to text)
14. “Oklahoma Lawmakers to AG Pruitt: Drop the Colorado Lawsuit,” by Ricardo Baca, The Denver Post – The Cannabist, 01/06/15. <http://www.thecannabist.co/2015/01/06/oklahoma-lawsuit-scott-pruitt-mike-ritze/26748/>. For Jeb Bush’s remarks: <http://www.westword.com/news/jeb-bush-among-presidential-hopefuls-supporting-states-right-to-legalize-pot-6587005> (return to text)
15. <READ LETTER> (return to text)
16. “Oklahoma Attorney General Scott Pruitt’s Lawsuit Against Colorado Pot Law Draws Opposition,” by Rick Green, NewsOK. <http://newsok.com/oklahoma-attorney-general-scott-pruitts-lawsuit-against-colorado-pot-law-draws-opposition/article/5381911>  (return to text)
17. “Nebraska and Oklahom Sue Colorado Over Marijuana Law,” by Jack Healy, New York Times, 12/19/14. <http://www.nytimes.com/2014/12/19/us/politics/nebraska-and-oklaho...na-law.html?emc=edit_th_20141219&nl=todaysheadlines&nlid=39529034>  (return to text)
18. “Oklahoma lawmakers to AG Pruitt: Drop the Colorado marijuana lawsuit,” by Ricardo Baca, The Denver Post – The Cannabist, 01/06/15. <http://www.thecannabist.co/2015/01/06/oklahoma-lawsuit-scott-pruitt-mike-ritze/26748/ (return to text)
19. In Wisconsin, Governor Scott Walker is leading an assault on public education; in Arizona, you can still get pulled over for having a tan; Alabama refuses to acknowledge homosexuals as human; and Texas is always embroiled in some crazy-ass ploy to de-educate and arm it’s citizens—probably in preparation for secession, which they threaten at least once a year. (return to text)
20. <http://www.census.gov/did/www/sahie/index.html> (return to text)
21. “A Letter From Oklahoma’s Attorney General, Written Almost Entirely by Energy Company Officials, reprinted by New York Times, 12/07/14. <http://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2014/12/07/us/politics/oklahoma-attorney-general-letter-written-almost-entirely-by-energy-company.html>   (return to text)
22. United States Department of Agriculture: Economic Research Service (2004) (return to text)
23. “Pruitt re-election campaign raised $300,000 after it learned he would have no opponent,” by Randy Krehbiel, Tulsa World, 12/16/14.  <http://www.tulsaworld.com/news/government/pruitt-re-election-campaign-raised-after-it-learned-he-would/article_74bdafd2-8020-5fc5-aaa9-5e6694c01589.html(return to text)
24. Ibid. (return to text)
25. Ibid. (return to text)
26. Ibid. (return to text)
27. Ibid. (return to text)
28. “Federal judge strikes down Okla. same-sex marriage ban," by Michael Winter; USA Today.com. <http://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation/2014/01/14/oklahoma-gay-marriage-ban/4480277/> (return to text)
29. <http://www.krmg.com/news/news/local/attorney-general-says-supreme-court-gay-rights-rul/nYWrz/> (return to text)
30. “Oklahoma Botches Clayton Lockett’s Execution,” by Bailey Elise McBride & Sean Murphy; HuffingtonPost.com, 05/08/14. <http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/04/29/oklahoma-clayton-lockett-execution_n_5236297.html> (return to text)
31. “Oklahoma Supreme Court puts on hold two abortion laws pending constitutional challenges," Newsok.com. <http://newsok.com/oklahoma-supreme-court-puts-on-hold-two-abortion-laws-pending-constitutional-challenges/article/5363467> (return to text)
32. “An Insider’s Guide to Oklahoma Attorney General Scott Pruitt’s War With the EPA,"StateImpact Oklahoma. <http://stateimpact.npr.org/oklahoma/2013/10/03/an-insiders-guide-to-oklahoma-attorney-general-scott-pruitts-war-with-the-epa/> (return to text)
33. “Lawsuit against California egg law dismissed - FDA report stokes debate over antibiotics - U.S. revokes special treatment for Canadian produce,” by Jason Huffman; Politico, 10/03/14. (return to text) <http://www.politico.com/morningagriculture/1014/morningagriculture15540.html>
34. “Nebraska and Oklahoma Sue Colorado Over Marijuana Law,” by Jack Healy; NYTimes.com, 12/18/14. <http://www.nytimes.com/2014/12/19/us/politics/nebraska-and-oklaho...na-law.html?emc=edit_th_20141219&nl=todaysheadlines&nlid=39529034> (return to text)
35. <http://www.religionnews.com/2014/07/16/hobby-lobbys-green-family-postpones-launch-public-school-bible-curriculum/> (return to text)
36. “Facing foreclosure: Oklahoma goes its own way in facing the mortgage mess,” by Cary Aspinwall & Casey Smith, Tulsa World, 10/20/13. <http://www.tulsaworld.com/news/local/facing-foreclosure-oklahoma-g...ay-in-facing-the/article_23c171e4-bbb3297b857c03.html> (return to text)
37. Ibid. (return to text)
38. Ibid. (return to text)
39. “Foreclosure Aid from Oklahoma Mortgage Settlement |Welcomed by Salina couple,” by Casey Smity and Cary Aspinwall; Tulsa World, March 9, 2014.
<http://www.tulsaworld.com/news/local/facing-foreclosure-oklahoma-g...ay-in-facing-the/article_23c171e4-bbb3297b857c03.html> (return to text)
40. “Facing foreclosure: Oklahoma goes its own way in facing the mortgage mess,” by Cary Aspinwall & Casey Smith, Tulsa World, 10/20/13. <http://www.tulsaworld.com/news/local/facing-foreclosure-oklahoma-g...ay-in-facing-the/article_23c171e4-bbb6-53d7-9878-93297b857c03.html> (return to text)
41. “Foreclosure Aid from Oklahoma Mortgage Settlement |Welcomed by Salina couple,” by Casey Smity and Cary Aspinwall; Tulsa World, March 9, 2014.
<http://www.tulsaworld.com/news/local/facing-foreclosure-oklahoma-g...ay-in-facing-the/article_23c171e4-bbb3297b857c03.html> (return to text)
42. “The Worst Newspaper in America,” Columbia Journalism Review, 1999. Also: <http://thislandpress.com/roundups/columbia-journalism-review-criticizes-the-oklahoman/> (return to text)
43. “Oklahoma Asks Supreme Court to Delay Executions,” New York Times, 1/26/15. <http://www.nytimes.com/2015/01/27/us/oklahoma-asks-justices-to-del...utions.html?emc=edit_th_20150127&nl=todaysheadlines&nlid=39529034> (return to text)
44. <http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2015/01/17/charles-warner-last-words_n_6492144.html> (return to text)
45. “Happy Talk History,” by Timorth Egan, New York Times, 02/27/15. <http://www.nytimes.com/2015/02/27/opinion/happy-talk-history.html?emc=edit_th_20150227&nl=todaysheadlines&nlid=39529034> (return to text)
46. “Marijuana Revenue In 2014: Almost $680 Million,” by William Breathes, Westword, 02/11/15. <http://www.westword.com/news/marijuana-revenue-in-2014-almost-680-million-6289873> (return to text)

 

Grateful acknowledgement is hereby made...

 

 

 

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